Fade Read online

  “What about … ?” Did I really want to say what I thought? Dace was already angry. I didn’t want to make it worse, and I had a feeling he and his wolf weren’t going to be all sunshine and daises talking about how Ronan factored into all of this.

  “What about what?”

  “It’s nothing,” I lied, averting my gaze on the off chance he could see as perfectly in the darkness as I suspected he could.

  He stopped walking and reeled me in until our faces were inches apart. Breath blowing across my cheek, he slid his hands up my arms. “What about what, Arionna?” His question sounded commanding and seductive at once.

  “That’s not fair, Dace,” I said, my voice breathy. I couldn’t form words through the haze he created in my mind when he got so close to me.

  “Isn’t it?” He leaned down until his mouth was right next to my ear. “It’s what you’ve done to me every single time I’ve been in the same general area as you.”

  I groaned, my body feeling like rubber.

  “Tell me, Arionna.” His sinful tone was more effective so close to my ear. His lips barely brushed my skin, but the sensation sent arcs of heat racing up my spine.

  “I … .”

  He nuzzled my neck right below my ear, and words ceased to form at all. The fact that I couldn’t see him made his actions that much more intimate and world quaking. My other senses heightened, opening wide to the scent that was all Dace, as well as the heat and sense of rightness I felt any time his skin came into contact with mine.

  “Tell me.” His lips hovered over the pulse in my throat, his breath burning at my skin. “Say it, please.”

  “Ronan’s involved.” I groaned his name as if it had been pulled from some deep, dark place inside. My legs shook beneath me.

  Dace tensed and then, ever so slowly, leaned forward and flicked his tongue across that spot where his lips hovered.

  My world fell out of focus, sensation shooting through me with the force of a sonic boom.

  He caught me in his arms. “Arionna?” he asked, his voice full of concern. “Are you okay?”

  “I … ” I shook my head and cleared my throat. “Um … .” Words escaped me.

  “What’s wrong, love?” He ran his hands over me, checking for some injury.

  “N-nothing.” I cleared my throat again, my heart fluttering that he’d called me love. “You can’t do that.”

  “Do what?” he asked.

  “Kiss me like that. You made me feel like the world stopped spinning.” I buried my face in his shoulder, a little embarrassed by my breathless admission.

  “Nice.” He seemed pleased. Go figure.

  I rolled my eyes and squirmed until he let me go, then started to stomp away.

  “Hey.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. “Don’t be angry. I like that I affect you as much as you do me. It’s nice.”

  I pulled away from him before I embarrassed myself further. He hesitated and then took my hand, waiting for me to speak.

  “I don’t see you losing the ability to think,” I said.

  “You shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

  “Oh?” I truly hated that he had access to my thoughts right then. It wasn’t fair.

  “Oh,” he said as he led me forward. “I’m not.”

  As if that helped any at all! “That’s comforting to know,” I retorted, sarcasm dripping.

  “It should be. I like how I make you feel, Arionna. It’s exactly the way I feel about you.”

  “Have I mentioned how much your admissions drive me insane?” I asked, my heart flip-flopping in my chest. If he kept it up, I’d need a pacemaker before I hit twenty.

  “They do? Why?”

  “Why?” I shook my head, both frustrated and amused by his obliviousness. Sometimes I honestly believed he didn’t have a clue about women or dating or relationships in general. “Because I never know where I stand with you, Dace. One minute you act like you’d rather not be anywhere near me, and the next, you say things like that. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what you think. It’s exhausting.”

  “Oh.” His quiet surprise echoed around us. “You think I don’t want to be near you?”

  “Yes. No.” I shook my head helplessly. “I don’t know.” Sometimes, it certainly felt like he didn’t want me getting close to him. In a way, I understood his hesitation. He had this big secret he’d hidden his entire life, and it wasn’t his alone. The wolves, the other shifters, they all relied on him in some way. He was a man apart, he always had been, but knowing that didn’t make dealing with his hot and cold routine any easier.

  He was silent for so long, I almost gave up, but then he said, “I still think I shouldn’t be near you. That the worst possible thing in the world for you is to be near me. But I want you close to me, Arionna, even though I know it’s not safe for you. And this?” He lifted our interlaced fingers to his lips, turning them over and kissing the back of my hand soft and feather light. “Isn’t nearly close enough.”

  I wanted to throw myself into his arms right then, but he wasn’t finished with his earth-shaking confession.

  “I may not always be easy to figure out, but never, ever think I don’t want you. Wolves mate for life, and mine is yours for however long you want it.”

  I struggled to find a response that felt anywhere near adequate.

  ”I know this is all new and confusing to you, Arionna, and I don’t expect you to say anything now,” he whispered, putting one finger over my lips as I groped along stupidly for words, any words. “Just don’t doubt it. Don’t doubt me.”

  I bobbed my head once, loving the way his finger made my lips tingle and burn. The sensation was a lesser version of what his kiss did to me. My lips burned at that single point of contact. I think he knew it, too.

  “The wolves are coming.” I heard the grin in his voice and knew it had nothing to do with the wolves. He was seriously trying to drive me crazy.

  He brushed his finger across my bottom lip then dropped his hand back to my arm, leading me once again into the darkness. I stumbled along at his side, oblivious to anything but his warm heat.

  “Whe-where are we going?” Words! Finally! I didn’t care that they were breathless.

  “Not much farther,” he said, lifting me over a fallen log I hadn’t even seen. His hands momentarily lingered at my sides after he set me on my feet. “You’ll be able to see a little better soon.”

  “I will?” That reminded me … “Can you see now?”

  He chuckled. “Yes, I can see now. Shifters come complete with built-in night vision.”

  “Oh. What else do they come equipped with?”

  “You didn’t ask any of this last night. Why?” He sounded as curious as me.

  ”Honestly? It felt more important we focus on the basic stuff first,” I said. “I already knew none of this would make a difference, but if you were a closet Jersey Shore fan, or believed you were the antichrist or something? Totally different story.”

  He laughed, one of those head thrown back, tears in your eyes kinds of laughs.

  My stomach bottomed out at the sound, another frisson of heat warming me from the inside.

  “You really are strange, you know that?” He chuckled again.

  Maybe so, but knowing he was different simply hadn’t changed anything for me, but had he loved everything I hated or hated everything I loved? That would have been more difficult to work with. He didn’t have a say in being a shifter, or in his connection to me—which didn’t make a whole lot of sense—but bad taste would have been entirely his fault.

  He laughed softly, clearly responding to my thoughts.

  “What else?” I demanded.

  “We have excellent hearing. We’re also fast, and like I said, we’re strong, we heal rapidly … and then there’s the charm, too.”

  “Charm? Are you serious?” I gaped at him, seeing no more than his faint outline. Why would shifters need charm?

  “No,” he said and laughed. “But I tho
ught I would try to slip that one in there while I was at it.”

  “You—” I snorted, and then I laughed. Laughing with him felt good. Freeing. “I wouldn’t have bought it for long.”

  “Oh?” He lifted me over another log, this one a lot bigger than the previous.

  I hadn’t noticed before but I could see my surroundings a little better. Not much, but enough to make out a little more than his outline and a bit of the area around us. We were trooping through the heart of the woods, the trail no longer in sight. “Shouldn’t it be darker in the thick of the woods than on the trail?”

  “Probably, but we aren’t in the thick of the woods. We’re on the outskirts now.”

  We are? “How?”

  “The trail comes quite close to the interstate before heading back around and deeper into the woods.” He paused. “Didn’t you notice it when you were out here before?”

  “I had a lot on my mind, and I don’t pay much attention when I’m walking.” I’d always been that way. I walked where my feet led.

  “You know,” he mused, his voice a gentle rebuke, “You should try to pay more attention when you’re out here. You could get lost.”

  “I don’t get lost.” Really, I didn’t. Apparently some wise angel created me with a subconscious navigation system. Or maybe my internal GPS had more to do with this whole being connected to a shifter thing. Whatever the reason, I appreciated my sense of direction. Because of it, I’d always gotten home safely in the past.

  Dace shook his head but let it go. “So, you wouldn’t have bought the charm line?”

  I snorted. “You were an ass the first time we talked.”

  “Only because you nearly gave me a heart attack,” he protested. “I’m walking along, minding my own business and I see this beautiful girl standing on that old wall like she was trying to fly. I kept thinking you were going to get hurt.”

  Oh, well, that was kind of sweet actually. “Haven’t you ever done anything a little insane on the spur of the moment?”

  “Maybe,” he murmured.

  “No fair!” I tugged his arm. “I’ve been answering your questions.”

  He looked down at me, and this time I saw his face clearly. His eyes were wide and his expression more serious than the lighthearted question demanded. “I’m leading you through the woods to meet a pack of wolves. Isn’t that insane enough for you?”

  ”You aren’t doing it for the hell of it,” I pointed out. “I badgered you into it.”

  “That you did.” He smiled, his expression faintly amused. “We’re there, by the way.”

  My gaze flew back to his and then to our surroundings. I gasped. As he’d said, we were no longer in the woods, but on the edge. The moon shone overhead, casting its soft light down into the clearing. A small pond bounced the moonlight back from its surface, making the clearing seem to glow an ethereal blue.

  “I see what you mean about not paying attention when you’re walking,” Dace said.

  “Told you,” I mumbled, barely looking at him. The surface of the pond was so still, so peaceful, it couldn’t be real. My feet moved toward it of their own accord. “This is beautiful.”

  “It is,” Dace said, still beside me as I half floated forward. “I come here a lot.”

  “Because of the wolves?”

  “Yes. The woods thicken on the other side of the pond. They skirt around farmland and the more rural communities for miles, and are quite dense in places. There aren’t as many people around, so the pack tends to prefer it to the areas closer to town. This is usually as close as they come, and I prefer it out here. I am half wolf, you know,” he said, arching a brow.

  I ignored his teasing. “What do shifters have other than sight, sound, speed, and strength?”

  “You certainly bounce around in conversation enough, don’t you?”

  “Does it bother you?” I looked at him, curious.

  “No, but it’s interesting. You have so much running through your mind at once; I never know which thought you’re focused on at any given time. It makes it hard to figure out what’s important to you and what isn’t.” He looked down at me oddly, like he was trying to decipher a puzzle.

  ”I think like my dad and talk like my mom,” I said quietly. “He’s a thinker, and she liked to chatter. My mind bounces around a lot, and I never know what’s going to pop out. It’s worse when I get nervous.” I stopped at the edge of the pond and looked down, hoping he wouldn’t think to ask if I was nervous now.

  The pond was as clear and still up close as it had appeared from across the clearing. Beautiful.

  “And who’d you inherit your utter lack of fear from?” His frown bounced back to me from the surface of the water, severe.

  “Lack of fear?” I laughed at the absurdity of that statement. I’d done nothing but be afraid lately. “I think I fear plenty.”

  “Like what?” He watched me in the surface of the water, examining my face, trying to figure me out again, I think.

  “Starting classes here, Ronan, spiders, the little metal rim around the kitchen sink, car accidents, bad haircuts, what’s coming, falling asleep in the bathtub. See? Plenty of fear.”

  “Well, at least Ro—” He broke off, looking confused. “The metal rim around the sink? Why?”

  Damn. I had said that, hadn’t I? “Um, I don’t know. I always worry it’ll slice my finger when I clean around it.” I shrugged, uncomfortable under his gaze. “It creeps me out.”

  He stood there for a long minute, looking at me. And then he shook his head and grinned crookedly. “You’re adorable.”

  “Doesn’t seem adorable to me,” I said, dipping the toe of my boot into the water and watching the smooth ripples move across the surface.

  “It is,” he whispered. “Curious, too.” He looked down to the water, watching the ripples with a little furrow between his brows.

  “How so?”

  “You’re afraid of the sink because it might cut you, but you were almost attacked by a wolf last week, and you willingly troop through the woods to meet more tonight?” His eyes clouded as he shook his head back and forth. “It’s odd.”

  “Fear isn’t always rational, Dace,” I said. “If it were, it would be easily overcome and no one would stress about clowns.” I paused and looked up at him. “Besides, you’re here. That makes a difference.”

  Not that I wasn’t afraid of the coming meeting. The thought of meeting a pack of wolves scared the crap out of me, but I did the sanity saving thing and refused to think about it. The less time I spent dwelling on the coming meeting, the less time I had to worry. And the less time I had to worry, the better able to handle the situation I would be.

  “That’s another thing,” he said, “I told you I couldn’t control the wolf around you, and you accepted that with no questions asked. Why?” He seemed to be struggling with that.

  I kind of wanted to kick his dad for instilling Dace with so much self-doubt. Even if all of this was new to me, and a little strange, Dace wasn’t the monster he believed himself to be, and neither was his wolf.

  “You’ve been protecting me since the first time we talked. You ran away when you touched me and thought you were going to lose control—very irritating, by the way. Then you leapt in front of that wolf to keep him away from me. You walked me home in the dark … .”

  He watched me, his eyes wide and serious as I explained.

  “I’ve felt your wolf from the very beginning. I might not have known what he was, but I’ve never been frightened of him. And his reaction last night is just one of the reasons why. I doubt he would have reacted like he did toward Ronan if he was dangerous to me like you fear he is. And neither would you, for that matter.”

  He stared at me, speechless.

  ”Besides,” I continued, “from the minute I saw you, I felt like I knew you. Nothing about you, no matter how crazy it seems, surprises me at all. Everything about you feels completely natural, like I already knew it. Don’t tell me you don’t feel that.”r />
  “I do,” he whispered.

  I nodded. “Finding out the truth was worth a little risk.”

  Besides which, I had enough to be afraid of without adding Dace to the list when he didn’t belong there. I’d known that much since the very beginning. Whether because of whatever was in me, because of my connection to him, or simply because I’d grown outright tired of being scared of everything, I didn’t know. Maybe his wolf did pose a danger like Dace feared, but I worried about my heart more. It was already broken … not so sure I could handle him shattering it entirely.

  He looked like he was working up to a glower as he processed my confession.

  I decided to cut him off at the pass. I didn’t want to argue with him anymore. “Dace,” I said, shaking my head as a shadow moved on the far side of the lake. “No more sniping at me today, please. I’m tired, I’m sad, and I don’t want to fight with you right now. Besides, your wolves are coming.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Dace’s brow furrowed. “What?”

  I pointed across the pond at the black shadow slipping from beneath the trees, feeling quite satisfied I’d managed to leave him speechless for once. The shadow slid gracefully out of the trees and then broke into two shadows. Two wolves. Dace tensed as soon as he saw them, pulling me behind him.

  “Like I said,” I murmured, unable to resist the chance to prove my point, “you’re always protecting me.”

  He shot a dark look over his shoulder, but didn’t argue.

  “Remember what I told you,” he warned me, whipping his head back around.

  I did remember what he’d said. Intimately, as a matter of fact. Did he think I’d been rambling for the last half hour for my health? I snorted. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t figured that out already.

  I worked up courage then peeked around him, my nerves tingling and fear rippling through me now that I had nothing else to focus on. Two wolves, both dark gray—and looking more dangerous than the Dace-wolf I saw in my head—walked toward us, a graceful power in their steps. My hands trembled. I shoved them into my coat pockets, not wanting Dace to see how they shook.